No, seriously.

"In honor of James’s arrival, the Miami Herald and its public-radio partner, WLRN, have organized a poetry contest, requesting submissions of six lines or less, six being the number on James’s new uniform."

I, like everyone else even remotely aware of professional basketball, am in awe of LeBron's athletic talent, but let's be real. Best case scenario: LeBron goes out onto the court, puts up really impressive numbers, plays a beautiful game, and the Heat win. The next day, we all wake up to our old problems.